This is my 80th post!  Wow!

I had contractions from 12pm until 8pm last night.  Kris and I went for a long 1 1/2 hour walk to get the contractions stronger, and it worked!  They were getting painful.  But by the time we got home and I sat down, they disappeared.  I had a few more in the middle of the night but...still no baby.

What do you do when you stay home from work because you think you MIGHT go into labor that day?

Then you don't actually go into labor?

But, stay home anyway?

You make strawberry banana bread!

I woke up at 2am Wednesday with some pretty bad cramping.  Excited I woke Kris up just to tell him MAYBE today is the day.  I stayed awake for about 2 hours watching the Sandlot on TV then finally fell back asleep.

I woke up again about 6:30 with some mild cramping and moved to the couch where I stayed for most of the day.

I just want people to be HAPPY to see me again at work instead of saying "you're still here??"  My boss actually said this morning, "what the HELL are you doing here??!!"

Good question boss, good question.

When I started this blog, I had a prerequisite that I have a fairly positive writing style.  Though I wanted to keep my feelings in it real, I didn't want it to contain all my deep dark secrets. Because, let's face it...this bloggy blog is out there for the whole world to see!  And, someday, when I have this printed into a book for baby girl to shove into the back of her closet read, I want her to feel as though her mom always had a good attitude about being pregnant.

It's true that sometimes I try and make you laugh.  Sometimes...that's all that keeps me plugging along.  Laughter.

However, that just isn't real life!  I don't laugh all the time, and I certainly don't always have a good attitude.  (NOT a shocker to the people that really know me, I'm sure)

But, I just want to confess something without really...confessing something.  I have sad days too.

Sunday morning, when I woke up STILL PREGNANT a cloud of darkness followed me as I putted around the house.  Not even my beloved Cinnamon Toast Crunch could make the cloud disappear.  Not even TWO bowls (and a cookie) could make me feel better.

So, I went and sat out on the back porch in the white rocking chair.  The morning sun was up and I closed my eyes and I rocked.  I was trying to figure out what was bothering me.  Actually, I wanted to figure out why I was letting what was bothering me, bother me so much. 

Sometimes, I am emotional.  Maybe too emotional.  But, there have been a few things that have happened in the past few months that make me cry.  And damn-it, they are worth crying over.  But, when Kris came to check on me outside and asked if I had been crying, I lied.  I said...no I am just tired.  What a typical woman answer.  But, he was the one that was ultimately made me feel better.  He knows me and knows when I am sad (and when I lie about crying).  And he tries to make me feel better.  Usually with a treat that includes chocolate.

I can't really tell you why I am writing this post because honestly, I don't really know myself. 

Maybe I just want my little girl to know that...life sucks sometimes.  People pass away.  People hurt you.  Sometimes you don't know how you're going to pay next months rent.  And, sometimes, people read your blog only because they are nosey--not because they actually care about you.

Regardless, there will always be someone there for you.  For me, right now and forever that person is Kris.  Though he might not always agree with me, I know without a doubt that he would never do something to hurt me.  When other people have pushed me to the side (or off a cliff), he is quick to remind me that I am his #1 and I always have him on my side.

And you know what?  I don't deserve anything less.  And baby girl, neither do you.

Last night I was on our couch laying back in the recliner sippin on some ice water when...

All of a sudden my stomach did this WEIRD moment and everything inside it seemed to be pushed down low.  The top of my belly was all soft and squishy.  It felt like....rising dough.  Do you know what I mean?

Then, I got this weird pain that started on my right side and crept up with intensity to my stomach area.  It tightened my stomach real tight, then slowly faded away.

This lasted for about an hour.  Kris and I took a little walk down our street and it seemed to make my stomach even more hard and crampy.

I did some laundry and dishes (because if I was having this baby in the middle of the night I want to know my house is clean) then I went to bed.  I told Kris I hoped I was going to wake him in the middle of the night ready to go to the hospital.

Well folks, here I sit.

At work.

No baby.

So...I am left wondering.  Was what I was feeling last night just a result of a bean and cheese burrito that I had for lunch?  Or was it something more?

I was wrong.

No baby this weekend.  Not even one contraction!!  I can't even believe it.  I was so hoping to have this baby girl on MY time.  I like being in control.

Does that make me controlling?

I guess I learned my lesson.  Patience is a virtue and patience when you're 9 months pregnant is torture.

It's not that I am totally uncomfortable either, because it really isn't so bad.  I mean...sure I feel huge and I waddle and none of my shirts (including the maternity ones) fit me anymore.  It's the excitement of seeing our little girls face and little toes and fingers that is getting to me.  I just want to hold her and smell her and....sleep on my stomach again.

What?  I miss it!

So, the other night I had a dream that I went into labor and had the baby at one of Kris' softball games.  It was easy as pie and I was skinny as could be right after.  My stomach was flatter then it was before I was pregnant.

This this is a forecast of the near future, don't you think (my flat stomach, not making the softball field my delivery room)?

Um, do I hear you laughing??

Hey Guys!

Might I point out that there is less than 20 days left on the ticker!

I'm putting my money on this weekend though!  Come onnnnn baby!

Just wanted to spread the good word of today's doctors appointment!

I am 1cm dilated and 50% effaced.  Oh, and the doctor could feel baby girls head during the exam.  WEIRD.

Effaced means that my cervix is now 50% thinned.  The doctor told me this is almost a better indicator of progress than dilation.  She was VERY happy to see I am already starting the open up (too graphic?) given the size of baby girl's head. She hoped for my sake we would be having this baby in the next two weeks so we don't give her much more time to keep growing that scull!

The doctor offered to strip/sweep my membranes next week when I am considered full term.  Stripping my membranes means separating the membrane that connects the amniotic sac to the wall of the uterus.  This will causes the body to release hormones called prostaglandins, which ripen the cervix and may lead to contractions.  And you know what that means :)

The only BAD thing about that is she goes out of town for a week after my appointment.  So, if I go into labor, she won't be there.  I don't think I want to have anyone else deliver my baby so I suppose we will just have to wait and see how I feel next week and see what progress I have made!

But...I am just really excited that there has been some progress already! You go cervix!

A few times a week, after we eat dinner and I have bored of sitting on the couch a nice warm bath sounds so fantastic. 

Just imagine...weightlessness.  Soaking my achy feet and total relaxation.  Can you picture it?

However, this is usually what happens:

I anxiously fill the tub then dip my foot in that light blue slightly steaming...HOT HOT TOOO HOT must add cold water.  I think I burned my toe!

Ok.  Fixed!  I added some cold water.  Now, I hesitantly get in that....dang it, now, luke warm bath; not even warm enough to stay in for five minutes.  Ughhh.  Turn the hot faucet on full blast and swirl the water around to try and make the water a perfect temperature.

Well, my feet are sure warm but my shoulders are freezing.  Oh well.  Just, relax!  Close your eyes and let your cares fade away, Stephanie.

Deep breath.

"KRIS!!  Kris come talk to me!  I'm bored!"

I can only take a bath for about 5 minutes and then I am painfully bored.  Even if I bring a book in with me, I somehow find a way to become uncomfortable and the steady drip of the old bath drain is all I can focus on. Drip, drip, drippppppppp.  It seems to know how annoying it is and wants to get me outta there.

I try.  I truly try to relax and savor this "alone" time before I become a mother.  But, I fail.  I fail 99 out of the 100 times.

Maybe I need to get a bathtub neck pillow?

Anyway, I apologize for a whole week of not posting.  Work has been crazy busy (per usual) and I don't even want to look at a computer when I get home.  But, even if I wanted too, Kris is working on it until midnight most nights anyway.

Getting my cervix checked today for the first time to see if I am dilated/effaced (whatever that means)!

Bring on those stir-up's!

Ever heard of a babymoon?

Well...it's sorta like a honeymoon only it is for a pregnant couple to spend time together before their sweet mini- me's arrive into the world.  You know, one last 'hurrah' before our lives change more than we even anticipated!

Unfortunately, we are not able to take a dream vacation (ie: tropical) but we are going to make our 3 day holiday weekend our official "babymoon" weekend.  Here is what I have planned...so far.  So long as I have the energy and Kris has the patience.

Friday Night:  Dinner @ PF Changs and a movie.
I got a gift card to PF Changs from Kris' sister Tawnya for my birthday back in May and have been saving it for a special occasion.

Saturday: FINISH the nursery.  Hang up all the decor. Wash her bedding/clothes/blankets and put away.  Sand, prime and paint her new dresser.  Get the hospital bag and diaper bag ready (ahh...scary). 

Then, since I am such a nice person and I love Kris more than anything....we will go somewhere to watch the BSU game.  If you didn't already know this, Boise LOVES their football team.  They worship their football team.  They are some of the most loyal fans I have ever seen.  It's the first game of the season.  In other words...the town shuts down when there is a game so, what else are we gunna do?

Sunday: Ok, don't laugh.  Promise? 

Kris...don't kill me.  Promise?

Promise?

Well...we are going to get pedicures.  I sure hope Kris will agree to it.  I know it's a "girly" thing to do but I know he will love getting his feet scrubbed and massaged.  Plus, I have a half off coupon!  Heaven knows my feet need some serious attention.  I haven’t been able to reach them in two months now.

I got free tickets to the speedway through work.  I suppose that is where cars race?  I'm not too sure but I am pretty good at deductive reasoning.  So, if the weather is nice we are up for it!  Rednecks unite!

Monday: Sleep in!  Maybe breakfast in bed?  Or maybe walk down to the local coffee shop for my favorite lemon poppy seed muffins.  Yummy.

Then...maybe get more stuff done around the house.  Or maybe just relax.  Or maybe Kris will surprise me with tickets to a local play or something?  I don't know...what should we do?  It's Labor Day!  Too bad I won't be IN labor.  Rats!

Early evening, I believe that Kris' parents will be having a BBQ at their house.  And since you were wondering, I will eat BBQ food any time, any where.  I love me some Bar Be Que food.

Geez...this doesn’t sound much like an exciting "babymoon" does it?  Unfortunately, we are limited by a few things.  One being my swollen belly and sore body.  But, I try and keep up with the best of 'em.

But, honestly.  I am happy to just cuddle up and watch a movie fall asleep while he watches the movie with Kris.  Any alone time I get to spend with him I treasure.  I don't need a tropical vacation to feel like I am in paradise. 

Haha...doesn't that make you just wanna throw up?

Have a happy Labor Day folks!